i don't know why i'm here. i hope you do.

February 12 2020

im sorry that i've been neglecting this blog lately. i've kinda been forgetting about it, im trying to figure out how to live on my own like cars and rent n stuff. I have a long weekend soon.

February 9 2020

I go to therapy tomorrow. this weekend i think i saw a dead guy in town today. the train i was on stopped, the lights turned out, the driver got out and i heard some guy on a megaphone yelling something about israel. i kinda thought someone was gonna shoot up the train, but it was just a church giving out food so u know i got some. currently trying to figure out how to mysterio0usly die in the forest

February 6 2020

today was my last day of my therapy program. everyone around there said such nice things about me. it really made me feel cared about. i feel a bit better sleepiness wise. my old teacher even gave me an orchid to take care of. i hope it survives. i just got out of the shower after being convinced my hair was falling out. i dont think it is. i might go bald again if i get too paranoid about it.

February 4 2020

i get so tired in the day now. got my zoloft upped to 150, and i'm thinking this is gonna get worse soon. i hope i can keep making it through my days. i seem to have contracted the horny, but I don't care enough to do anything about it. im sweating a lot. I want someone to claw the humanity from mine and make me theirs. mmh god i need to stop. rediscovered that malibu is good. i wish i had some, but i don't.

February 3 2020

Someone madethese and it looked cool. mine absolutely does not. i have a lot of things going on, some of which i can't tell to my parents,therapists, and possibly even my friends, and we MET in therapy. i can tell them a lot. i told my dad that i want to control the end of my life (kms in my mid-late 40's), and my dad said that i didn't need to blow my brain out because legal suicide will be a thing so i can just get euthanised by some doctor. fuck that shit my dad has no idea how that works thatll only be for people with terminal illnesses what the fuck?